What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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