So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
