So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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