i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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