How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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