It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize