you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
not ubering you a puppy
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
