my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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