I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
