Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
