i jhust puked up my retainher.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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