Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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