I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i permit you to call me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
