I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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