We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
