Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
