When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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