I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
