hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I had to cum in my sink.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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