His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
