You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
