anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
