i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
