remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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