everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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