i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
