it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
