not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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