in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
