You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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