There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
