stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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