he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
