literally had 100 drinks last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
