alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
meet me or not, i'm out of control
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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