gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
