she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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