Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
handjob tips. give me some.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
