don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need moral support for this bender
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
