I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
