Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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