I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
