i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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