If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
