My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
