in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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