You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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