Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
