well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
