is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
