Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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  (830): You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin http://tfl.nu/1khj
  Replies (7) Good night (733) Bad night (1593)
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  (209): View more from California

  yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.

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  (209): yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room. http://tfl.nu/6bc3
  Replies (6) Good night (534) Bad night (3479) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"

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  (423): my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead" http://tfl.nu/865j
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (1623) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  well you can't waste a boner

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  (330): well you can't waste a boner http://tfl.nu/ixi5
  Replies (12) Good night (4785) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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  (757): Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed. http://tfl.nu/t0jo
  Replies (13) Good night (3561) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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  (502): Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night! http://tfl.nu/a9zw
  Replies (8) Good night (555) Bad night (2547) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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  (740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/zgkj
  Replies (33) Good night (8976) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

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  (281): I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wpfj
  Replies (13) Good night (3068) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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  (814): We need to get her some penis inspired head protection. http://tfl.nu/pcof
  Replies (6) Good night (2382) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?

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  (954): Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs? http://tfl.nu/j7df
  Replies (6) Good night (2229) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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  (608): I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything http://tfl.nu/ll8l
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (1813) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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  (815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18
  Replies (3) Good night (1793) Bad night (454)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."

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  (386): I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount." http://tfl.nu/nxe2
  Replies (5) Good night (2527) Bad night (246)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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  (765): So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30. http://tfl.nu/7nzj
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (464)

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