Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I wanna come home

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  And do what?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.

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  (270): I wanna come home (1-270): And do what? (270): Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat. http://tfl.nu/i6u9
  Replies (4) Good night (2460) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  You hurt me so bad and it feels so good

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  (424): You hurt me so bad and it feels so good http://tfl.nu/hvpg
  Replies (4) Good night (1563) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

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  (312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face. http://tfl.nu/6ki2
  Replies (31) Good night (1054) Bad night (1944)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

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  (315): He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out. http://tfl.nu/k9ox
  Replies (18) Good night (5211) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5320) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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  (604): dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too" http://tfl.nu/x15y
  Replies (5) Good night (4160) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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  (208): please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/5yj9
  Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (2263)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2579) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2936) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

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  (201): You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME. http://tfl.nu/tcyr
  Replies (15) Good night (4833) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer

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  (775): Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer http://tfl.nu/5k0a
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.

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  (206): Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates. http://tfl.nu/0lrq
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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  (269): I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t9iz
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel

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  (401): Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel http://tfl.nu/tmc2
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (210)

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