there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.