erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
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Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.