you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative