Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile

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  (813): mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile http://tfl.nu/5jdq
  Replies (6) Good night (2075) Bad night (683)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5709) Bad night (2249)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7126) Bad night (839)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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  (504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n
  Replies (11) Good night (2643) Bad night (4368)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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  (205): I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy. http://tfl.nu/rek5
  Replies (15) Good night (4136) Bad night (1425)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!

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  (610): Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans! http://tfl.nu/q5t9
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (843)
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  (949): View more from California

  And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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  (949): And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/q2uq
  Replies (7) Good night (2853) Bad night (747)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm wearing red that night.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Noted, what shade?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Whore.

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  (202): I'm wearing red that night. (301): Noted, what shade? (202): Whore. http://tfl.nu/7182
  Replies (9) Good night (3957) Bad night (890)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.

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  (775): Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected. http://tfl.nu/2ksx
  Replies (6) Good night (490) Bad night (2256)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.

  (281): View more from Texas

  That does show growth.

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  (832): This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex. (281): That does show growth. http://tfl.nu/3swa
  Replies (1) Good night (1042) Bad night (548)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.

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  (+44): my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/xnmz
  Replies (6) Good night (2038) Bad night (1085)
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  (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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  (916): I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka http://tfl.nu/57f9
  Replies (1) Good night (1060) Bad night (489)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.

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  (+44): First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve. http://tfl.nu/g7kr
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (1194)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.

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  (+44): I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'. http://tfl.nu/incy
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (355)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

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  (434): Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/qpk5
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (967)

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