you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.