the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
