Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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