It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
