the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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