Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
