I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
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