I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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