i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
