PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
