I skipped work to stalk him.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize