If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
