TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
