I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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