"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Couch. On fire.
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