Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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