Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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