I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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