everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
